Does Ageism Even Apply To Men??

Why is it that men always get the better end of the deal?? I was never one of those “women need to be treated equal to men” kind of gals. Nope…. men and women are SOOOOO not equal. We are cut from a totally different cloth. This is not dependent on colour, race, culture, religion etc. Once upon a time, there were men….and there were women….the end!! 

The obvious difference is in their physical strength. Now emotional strength is a whole different ballgame……but let us just leave that there for now. For the rest of it, women are as capable as any man to do the same thing (and generally better). Yet still…..we are not ‘’the same’’…..far from it!

Men and women have had different roles in the past. Women were always the caregivers, homemakers and all around doers of all that was required. Men were the ones that were given the task of being the breadwinners…..period!! For me personally, I came from the era where I accepted this….. it was just the way of the world. Unfortunately (or fortunately), due to changing societal demands and socio economic conditions more women have been pressured to move into the workplace. Some do this by choice, but there are many that do this out of necessity. So, it has fallen on these women to do everything that was expected of them previously, together with what used to be expected of a man. There are numerous advantages to this for women, all of which ultimately lead to women being given the choice.

Of course, the women that don’t have a choice are on the increase, but that too is the way of the world.

But in my mind, a man and a woman doing the same job, still does not make them equal. Our makeup is different. We have different strengths and weaknesses, different ways of viewing things, different methods of reasoning. I do not think that women and men can or will ever be equal. I do not think that this is a bad thing either. I do not expect to be treated like a man, but I do not appreciate being treated as less than a man either! And no, this is not me wanting the best of both worlds!

One thing that cannot be argued, is that it is harder for women out there, as they try and juggle all that is required of them, and of course the sacrifices that have to be made. They also have to prove themselves more in the workplace, but hey….we women are tough cookies….we can handle it!!

Now, because the man that treats a woman like she is inferior, is normally a coward with a chip on his shoulder, it is understandable that when I still had a husband by my side, I was never treated ‘’like a woman’’. I would definitely have been viewed as inferior by many a male, but a coward would have been too scared to treat me as ‘’less than’’. 

However, since my husband passed away, men seem to have been given the ”courage” to treat me like I am less capable or inferior. Previously, I did not process what was happening, as I would never have thought my worth would have been diminished as a single female. But, in retrospect, I am so infuriated by all the times I now realize that this was the way I was being treated. You know that feeling of wanting to start an argument over again, so that you can say all those things you only thought of after the argument had ended? Well, that is where I am at the moment. If I could just have those moments back, knowing then what I know now, I would be stronger, more assertive and stand up for myself more. Anyway…..only in my dreams.

However what really irks me, is the world of ageism that we live in. It is so unfair that the concept of ageism negatively impacts females so much more than males. Sure, men are also affected by ageism, but there are also certain advantages for men, which counteracts the negative effects. For their female counterparts….no advantages…nada…none!

The marked difference between men and women when it comes to aging is in our appearances. The minute a woman starts showing her age, her worth seems to diminish. Men get older, they get more rugged and distinguished. Women get older, they look tired, dried up, dehydrated and haggard. Men get older, they are regarded as more enlightened and experienced. Women get older, they are regarded as less enlightened and more harebrained. Men lose their hair, they are perceived as attractive and masculine. Women lose their hair….they regarded as unattractive and old.  Men gain weight……their ‘’dad bods’’ are even more appealing than their younger bods. Women gain weight……they old…….and fat. The list just goes on for excruciatingly EVER!!! 

All older people still feel younger than they are. How old they feel depends on each individual. But to all you young úns out there, just know that you too, will never feel ‘’old’’. You totally will feel old mentally and physically mind you. Those things age accordingly dammit, but the age you will emotionally feel will always be younger than you are…..oh, by the way, I don’t mean this in a good, ‘’you are only as old as you feel’’ way!! Nope……I mean it in a ‘’why are all the people I grew up with looking so bloody old” way!!

My husband passed away when I was 39. So perhaps my life ever so poetically ended there. In reality though, it is probably just where my life as I knew it ended. This is probably why, in my mind I still feel 39 years old.

Besides becoming aware of the horrifying chauvinism out there, it has struck me how society thinks that women over a certain age need not care about their appearances…and by society, I mean anyone under the age of 50, even females!

After 40, there is a gradual process of the degeneration of the female appearance. After 50, one looks in the mirror every day, and notices some new age related problem that one can obsess about. Of course, I have no doubt that over 60, we will look back and realize these were nothing to worry about, as we wish we still had our over 50 “problems”.

After 50, I have found that concerns expressed, and assistance requested, from anyone in the beauty and cosmetic industry are not taken seriously. You would think we are the target market. We are here……..hear us ROAR!! Of course you do find a gazillion over the counter miracle creams etc. But there is a gap between the consumer who, quite honestly, wastes their money on those products, and between the rich and famous who apparently come from Krypton, and look ten to fifteen years younger because they ‘’drink 6 to 8 glasses of water a day’’……. miracle water they have on Krypton……….just saying!! I am not knocking those who have had nips and tucks, and other types of non invasive procedures. Believe you me, if I had the guts and the money, I would be totally ready to consider it! Nope, I am talking about a regular 50+ female, who just wants to look the best she can as a 50 plusser. The ones who were taken seriously when they were looking for beauty or cosmetic assistance when they were under 40, and did not really need the assistance anyway!! The ones who feel ignored and overlooked, unnoticed and disregarded.

Find me a male over 50 who even has to care about such things. So unfair……damn males!!!

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