Because I have such strong opinions, and am so passionate about my opinions……well okay, let’s call a spade a spade…..let’s substitute ”passionate about my opinions” with ”am almost always right with my opinions”, I rarely find comfort or satisfaction in anyone else’s opinions.
In the last few years, I have found the need for more spiritual reasoning, if you will. I have always been hugely spiritual, which is a bit of a conundrum, as I am also ridiculously practical and sensible, but I now require more spiritual reasoning to answer all my questions. Common sense is just not cutting it so much anymore.
Over the years, I have unilaterally made a particular friend of mine my go to spiritual advisor, without her knowledge of course! She is one of those ‘’hardly ever spend time together, but never affected our relationship’’ friends, who is so brutally honest (aka hard, cold and tactless), sensible and logical. No I am not referring to myself, but other than me, she is the most no nonsense person I know. Not so much of the spiritual though. So, often in the past we have had chats and I have gained a lot from her no nonsense and ruthless reasoning. But now I am in search for more spiritual reasoning.
My other friends, and I say this with love, not a spiritual bone in their bodies!! So clearly I have surrounded myself with people who are everything I am not…hopefully there has been some method in my madness!
Now, I have the privilege of having two nieces, who I think might be very much what I am requiring. Both, in very different worlds, are very pensive and I think wise, but the fact that they do not live in the same place as me, means I cannot utilise them as my spiritual advisors!!
Oh, and to the niece who requested that I devote a blog to my amazing nieces…this is not a reference to you. You are indeed amazing….but amazingly hysterical, amazingly cheeky and amazingly fun….not sure you would be my spiritual advisor though. No, if we lived in the same location, I think we would have coffee and talk…..a lot….and laugh….. a lot. But then I would have to ask you to give up your seat for my niece who would manage to answer every question I have about life, after launching into a few hours of spiritual reasoning as to how she arrived at her answers. Or maybe, I will reverse the order….the spiritual sessions might prove to be a bit draining, so I would require you to take a seat after all my problems and questions were sorted out……you know, to lighten the mood! But, you would have to wait at another table, until I made it clear that your presence was required. I simply cannot have my spiritual slot being interrupted by humour and fun and such trite!!
So in my blogs, I often pose questions, which I imagine readers just assume are rhetorical. The reason for this is obvious…..I am so intellectually superior (hey…stop being mean….), that people just assume I have all the answers. Truth be told, I often do pose rhetorical questions, but I would like to believe that my readers are sophisticated enough to sift through the myriad of questions, and figure out which ones require a response. Or, as is probably more likely the case, my two and a half readers do not feel the need to engage in any feedback. But that is fine….as long as you keep reading the darn things!!
So it got me to thinking, perhaps somewhere out yonder, there might possibly be a potential follower, who would be able to answer my hypothetical questions…..a ‘’Grumpy Guru’’ if you will. Well, maybe not so much of the ‘’grumpy’’, as true spiritual advisors are not grumpy by nature. No, they are peaceful, tranquil and composed, which is precisely why this Grumpy Mummy is in such desperate need of one.
So, I am just going to put it out into the Universe, and let us see if this Law of Attraction nonsense is what it promises to be!!
Anyway….back to the actual topic at hand!! So my current spiritual dilemma relates to being charitable. Now, there is very little that irks me more than people who are constantly telling everyone how charitable they are. That, of course negates the entire benevolence of this conduct, does it not? I totally believe in giving those less fortunate than me. However, my benevolence is dependent on certain prerequisites. And this is where I need answers. You see, there are gazillions of people less fortunate than myself. But, it is the reason for their misfortune which is my inner guide to deciding whether or not they are ‘’worthy’’ of my charity. Ummm, okay, reading that back, I may have answered my own question….dammit!! But hear me out anyway….
So my requirements are multifaceted. A potential recipient needs to be someone who has not created their misfortune themselves. It can most certainly not be someone who has made a choice to live off other people all their lives. It needs to be someone who is at least making an effort to better their unfortunate situation. Judgy much, you might be thinking? But how do you equate a person who has nothing because they were literally never given the opportunity, skills or means to have more, with a lazy and/or self-entitled individual? What about those that have things ripped out from under their feet because of something totally beyond their control? These are not the same group of people in my mind. There are the ‘’get off your lazy ass and go and make something happen for yourself’’ people, and then there are those that I consider ‘’deserving’’ of charity.
Then there are things like crowd funding and organisations that you hear stories of fraudulent behaviour about. These are definitely not going to be on my list either. Somehow, I only trust the process when I am able to see where my contributions are going.
So, just as an example, for me, the waitron in an eating establishment, working long hours, being verbally abused by fortunate customers, deserves a really decent tip! The person sitting on pavement outside, who would rather rely on handouts than do an honest day’s work does not!!
Now….to my spiritual advisor out there in the stratosphere, the aforesaid is not the question that demands your attention. I have asked and answered this for myself (now there’s that strong opinionated, and passionate girl that I alone know and love).
This is my dilemma…..well let me make reference to what happened in the last few days. Sparing the details, there are two people known to me, who have suffered similar unfortunate events. Both are employed in the same capacity. Both are known to me for the similar amount of time. The one, a sweet, dear, gentle and well mannered man, and the other, someone who has not been any of the aforesaid qualities in my family’s dealings with him in the past. The one was the victim of an unfortunate event. When this became known to me, I, without hesitation assisted the man with some food and money. The other suffered the same fate a few days later. On becoming aware of this, and needing to make a decision as to whether to assist him as well, my first thought was, did this man actually even have this experience, or did he see how much his colleague received by all the generous donors, and decide that this was a way to make a quick buck? Secondly I started thinking back to all the past unpleasant incidences involving this individual, that had in the past made it uncomfortable for me, my children and even my children’s friends. My third thought was, who am I to judge, especially in a time like this?
So to you, my prospective spiritual advisor, I ask this question…..do I have any right to decide who is or is not deserving of my, or anyone else’ s charitable contribution?