So, being 200 years old, I am a bit past my sell by date regarding this social media thing.
I was introduced to Facebook by my niece many moons ago. It was still fairly new, and she excitedly said she is signing me up for this exciting adventure. I did, of course protest…..
“What is this all about?’’ I asked suspiciously.
‘’It is a social media platform,’’ she replied….clearly thinking that would suffice, and quieten me down.
‘’To do what?’’ I prodded further, refusing to be quietened.
‘’So you can meet people, make friends and share things with people,’’ she said, her fingers furiously tapping away on the keyboard.
‘’But I don’t like people…..or need friends….. or like sharing,’’ I answered, assuming those nifty little digits would immediately freeze, and that would be the end of that.
‘’Anyway, I would not know how to use it, am too old to use it and see no need to use it,’’ I continued, when I realised said digits were not freezing!!
But literally by that time, her nimble little millennial…. or gen y (who even knows anymore) digits had me signed up, profiled and suitably pictured.
And so, my social media journey began. At that stage, it was my first experience on any social media platform. Of course back then, there was not much else….I don’t think…..but what would I have known???
I was always terrified of technology, well still am to be fair. Always convinced that if I do anything wrong, the computer or phone will automatically combust before my very eyes. I have definitely calmed down, but am still not totally relaxed about it.
I was probably the last person to ever actively use a Blackberry. BBM’s…..remember those? I loved me my BBM’s!! I would still have my Blackberry, had my friends and children (who were barely out of nappies at that stage), not held me down and physically pried my little precious out my hand!!
So now, thanks to my well-meaning, but interfering niece, I was the owner of a Facebook page. Like anyone my age (40-ish at the time), I knew it was there, but chose to ignore it completely. Every so often, I would open the page, gaze at it blankly for a while, not understand what the flaming hell I was supposed to do with it, and then close it again!!
Sometimes I would get notification of a friend request, and absolute fear enveloped me. I was convinced that I was being stalked….by a person I knew….exceedingly well…sometimes even a family member…who I adored…..and as fast as anyone requested, I declined.
It was only later that I realized being on Facebook, with only my niece who had signed me up, as my friend, was probably be the reason why I could not understand what one was meant to do with this marvel.
So, requests from a few nieces later, especially the ones living in a faraway land, and way more trendy and ”happening” friends, I started to (barely there) dabble in this phenomenon.
Honestly….loved the ‘’keeping in touch’’ part….seeing my nieces and nephews who lived out of the country, and their kids too, but for my purposes, it served little more than that……….until my children joined!!!!!
And there it was…….all my questions, and my questions’s questions, my suspicions, my apprehensions, scepticism…..all of it…..POOF gone, just like that…….. I understood the whole purpose of this thing they called Facebook………..STALKING YOUR CHILDREN!!!!
So, until what seemed like a mere minute later, which was when all members under the age of 21 took action, and collectively staged a ‘’walk out’’ of Facebook, because their parents had joined, I was on Facebook (stalking) so very much more than I had been previously!!
So once my children had staged the annoying ‘’walk out’’, I became guilty of what, I suspect, every other overly proud parent was guilty of. ….posting a gazillion pictures of my drops of mercury.Well, again, until what seemed like another mere minute later, when I was abruptly informed by said drops, that I need to stop willy nilly posting pictures of them on social media.
Initially, I had to submit the photo to these inconsiderate and selfish pubescents, and eagerly await their approval of my submission. Too soon thereafter, I was totally prohibited from posting any photos, except for VERY special occasions, where I kind of had to kind of beg and plead.
After that, Facebook became more a marketing tool for my business, and a ”meme machine”. I just loooooove me some memes!! Memes here, there and everywhere. And so many of them could have been written just for me…or even by me!! I love them…you know, the snarky and sarcastic (hereinafter referred to as ”snarcastic”) ones. DON’T give me inspirational (eeeeuw) or emotional (eeeeuw…eeeeeuw) ones. Post a religious/political/sad/lost dog or person/sick or abused dog or person meme…and I will unfriend you forth and with (well unless we are actual friends and not virtual friends…then I will just VERY speedily scroll past your posts).
Of course, I am human (contrary to public opinion), and find a special enough eeeeuw eeeeeuw meme now and again, which I share….but that moment passes VERY quickly…and I continue with business as usual. Now, the funny thing is, when I do post these types of posts here and there……everyone takes it super seriously, and I get a number of comments or reactions, as people think I am in ”that place”…..you know….. The Needy Place. I get reactions from people who I forgot even followed me. You know those MANY social media stalkers?? What people do not understand is that I don’t do needy publicly. I just liked the post enough to share it!!
I am a bit of a conundrum (in case you hadn’t figured), as I am an intensely private person, who prefers people to know as little about my life and emotions as possible. This from a blogger might sound inconceivable, but other than my nearest and dearest, my blog gets to remain anonymous. So, blogging is my therapy. It is also intended to serve as a point of easy reference for my children and their therapist, when they are in therapy one day, blaming every single thing that has gone wrong in their lives on their mother….as children do….as your children will too.
So back to my snarcastic memes. Comments and reactions…and even private messages, come abounding when sad/reflective or emotional memes are posted by yours truly. But when the snarcastic ones are posted….only the brave venture forth. For the most part there are crickets.
I used to think that I was offending people with my snarcastic memes. But Facebook ‘’friends’’ started commenting when they saw me. They would tell me how funny my posts are. One girl even said she goes on to Facebook every morning to see what I have posted, as it always makes her day. People who I had forgotten were following me….you know the ”friends” that are actually virtual strangers, would see me and say how much they love my posts.
This is not to say I have not offended anyone with my posts. But you can’t please everyone. Certainly not if you are an unfiltered, sarcastic, intolerant, politically incorrect and snarky somebody!!
So eventually I moved on to Instagram (got reprimanded repeatedly by my spawn), so now I literally just use it for marketing my business. Signed up for Twitter 100 years ago, and literally had no clue what one does with it. Although, hearing how much trouble unfiltered and snarky people get into, it is probably best that I don’t pursue that platform any further.
I have now dipped my toe into LinkedIn, which, if you have read one of my previous blogs, you will know that this is also purely for marketing….I think….will have to consult with my son Pepper before I can give a definite answer to that.
But for now, I will continue posting snarcastic memes, refrain from bragging about my children, and hopefully not offend too many people!!