I have a friend, who pretty much was (and for the most part still is) so conventional, that it even drove her dilly.
There was her method of making important decisions….conventional………if ”they” say that you need to send your child (actually toddler) to playschool at a certain age, then so it shall be……no questions asked. Then there was me…..
’’But I don’ feel my child….ACTUALLY TODDLER……. is ready for school yet?’’ I would question.
‘’Well they say it is the right age….so it is,’’ she would insist.
‘’But as the mother of said toddler (actually almost still an embryo), do I not know this child more than any of ‘they’ do??’’ I would ask.
”Your child will be lag behind his peers if you don’t send him early enough,” she insisted.
”There will be more damage done if I send him too early,” I replied.
‘’Why do you always have to be ‘different’?’’ she would chuckle. ‘’I wish I could be more like you.”
Hmmmmmmm…….by “different,’’ I can only assume she was sugar coating what she undoubtedly meant…. ”contradictory’’……’’difficult’’…….’’rebellious’’…..’’stubborn’’… but no matter…because friend, if ‘’different’’ meant think for yourself, I wished you could be more like me too!!
Just so you know, there have been many times that I have wished that I actually agreed with the rest of humanity….would have made me so much more enchanting!! So much easier my life and times might have been!!
So, by thinking for myself, I did a lot of things ‘’differently’’ when raising my kids. For instance, back then, when food allergies were not popular, trending, or even a thing, I realized that dairy and wheat products used to give my first child (aka Pepper) a runny nose. When this became a realization, I took him off all dairy and wheat products.
Now something you need to know about me (of which I am neither proud of nor delighted about), I either do something COMPLETELY or not at all! So, wheat and dairy products became a scarce commodity in my house. Those that slipped through the cracks, were strategically tucked away.
Once this happened, shiver me timbers, runny nose gone, disappeared, a thing of the past!
When we went out, and to school eventually (at the ripe OLD AGE of 4), the wheat and dairy products were more sought after by my hunny bunny than sweets, cakes or fizzy drinks!! If I could have avoided that too, I would have. However, I thought, if I am in fact scarring my child for the rest of his life (as I was being led to believe), best to make that the point of departure!! Also….imagine if I actually dared telling people I did not give my children dairy or wheat?? I would be deemed an unfit mother, tied up and burnt at the stake.
Yes, of course I was accused of depriving my children of calcium, which would in turn mean that they would become adults with no teeth and soft bones. However, the only people I felt the need to explain this to were my children, when later on they would come home from school and describe how the teacher says a sandwich and a glass of milk should form part of their daily diet for them to be healthy. There are healthier foods that provide calcium people….RELAX.
It did totally work to my advantage once. We were waiting in the foyer of school with my dearest on day one of school, dearest looking totally anxious, fearful, apprehensive and petrified about this new adventure he was going to embark on…..oh no, wait that was me….I was totally anxious, fearful, apprehensive and petrified…..but he was a couple of those too…..anyway, right on cue (I literally could not have planned this better myself, if I had tried), three guys with crates carrying bread….loaves and loaves of bread, arrived to deliver to the school. Dearest’s eyes SPARKLED like diamonds, and you would think he had just won the lottery. Well after that, it was just his mother that remained emotionally turmoiled.
On a side note, he grew up with teeth, bones and did not fall behind academically or socially.
Another example of my “different’’ views, was relating to antibiotics. Back then, doctors prescribed them for EVERYTHING. Runny nose, cough, runny tummy, colic, sunburn, disobedience……..like I said……..EVERYTHING.
Now me…(you know ’’difficult’, ”rebellious’’ blah blah), even as a teenager….when I was prescribed antibiotics, I just instinctually knew…poison….toxic…..lay off. I just always told my mom I had been taking them, and waited to see if I got better without them first. Nine times out of ten, I never needed them.
Skip to my little sprogs, I was exactly the same. Take sprog to doctor, no temperature, no glassy eyes….. a tad under the weather….no matter what symptoms my sprogs displayed, out came that wretched prescription pad for antibiotics. Naturally, I would never get them……unless there was indeed a temperature….you know…from the BACTERIAL infection, and glassy eyes…..….you know…from the temperature from the BACTERIAL infection…..you know B-A-C-T-E-R-I-A…the thing antibiotics were supposed to be used to treat!!
Once my sprogs were a bit older, it was as if the memo finally came out (well it probably did)…. that antibiotics had been over prescribed for years, and in addition, unnecessarily prescribed. Well then all these geniuses in the medical profession made it easier to get a prescription for narcotics than antibiotics!!
So I went from, ‘’my child does not need antibiotics for this, please prescribe something else….ummmm less poisonous’’, to ‘’look at this child’s temperature and glassy eyes!! Now get that infamous bloody prescription pad and prescribe my dearest antibiotics!!!’’
You will be shocked to hear that there was not a queue of doctors lining up to apply to be our house doctor.
But on a serious note, I really wish people….ESPECIALLY MOMS….would listen to the information they are given and then think for themselves. You were given a brain…use it!! No one knows your child better than you do. Trust your instincts. Never underestimate the power of your intuition! You were given that as well… use it too!!
Sure there will unfortunately be times where the decision is taken out of your hands, But when you are able to make a decision, do not just assume everything you hear is correct……and when that gut is talking to you…….LISTEN!!!!!!
Anyhoo…..on a completely different topic…..can anyone recommend a good family Doctor??
Grumpymummy 