So, just to recap….husband died….devoted my life to and sacrificed the world for my children a la Mother Teresa. Discussed my first kick in the bum moment from my children in my last blog….you know….where I was told that this devotion and sacrifice WAS ENTIRELY TO THEIR DETRIMENT!!!!!!!!!!!
Anyhooo…..over that moment, moving on to the second (and hopefully last!!!!) kick in the &^%$# moment.
I have family and friends who live in all corners of the world. Time and time again, I have been offered, requested and even badgered by some, to visit them.
“No I can’t”, I would answer, “I cannot afford to take a family of three on an overseas holiday”…or “my kids have school” or whatever else applied at the time.
Their response was always “come without your kids, stay with us, you deserve a break”. Were these people of unsound mind??? My children and I do things as a unit, I am not rushing off to who knows where, and leaving my children behind. I mean did these people not know who I was?? Mother Teresa…suffering saint…martyr….paragon of virtue…….helloooooooo…did these people not get the memo?????
Furthermore, how could I possibly have enjoyed something when my poor little sweetie darlings are sitting at home on their ownsome lonesome……like two little orphans….left to fend for themselves by their selfish and irresponsible mother? Poor Salt and Pepper…..just imagine?? Just so you know….they are now 20 and 23 years old, and I am still saying the same thing.
So ”Rona” December, my older son (Pepper), informed me that he wanted to take me on a holiday to a Bush Lodge for two nights, because of the crazy, stressful year 2020 was. He said he really felt I needed a break, as we had not been on a holiday for a good couple of years.
“No, absolutely not! Firstly, there is this little thing called C-O-V-I-D!!” I said.
“It will be safer there than where we are now mom,” he reasoned.
“Well secondly, there is no way I am allowing you to pay for me!” I sternly pronounced.
“But I want to,” he declared, “it is to thank you for everything you have done for me.”
“I have done nothing more than any other mother would have done”, I said, holding back the tears of pride and joy, realising this was me finally getting acknowledged for my valiant efforts as the paragon of virtue who devoted her life to and sacrificed the world for her children.
“You did plenty more than you needed to, and now that I have graduated, I want to thank you for paying for my studies”, he insisted.
“You don’t give ME a graduation gift, that is what I am supposed to give YOU?” I said….by now choking back the tears of gratitude ….… thinking of my friends telling me that they had bought their children fairly extravagant graduation gifts.
Look what all my sacrifices have given me, I thought, a thoughtful, gracious and selfless child. So now, not only did I feel guilty because I hadn’t bought him a graduation gift…BUT MORTIFIED, BECAUSE HE WANTS TO GIVE ME A GIFT. Is this kid playing games with me? I thought to myself. Is this his way of making me feel even worse than I do??
Anyway, he really was a persistent little bugger, but I insisted on paying for his brother (Salt), as Salt had just finished studying, but had no idea what the future year held, and I was NOT going to let him blow even a cent of his savings on anything as flimsy as a holiday!!
“I don’t think he wants to come” Pepper said. “I think he wants to stay at home rather.”
“Whaaaaaaaat???? What do you mean STAY AT HOME????” I asked.
“No, we were chatting, and he said he’d rather stay home and ‘chill’, and we could go” he replied.
“Not even a remote possibility” I said…………..”SAAAAAAAALT” I bellowed, summonsing this spice, just to clarify what he actually meant in discussions with Pepper, and which Pepper CLEARLY misinterpreted!!!!
So, Salt saunters into the room (as Salt does), and when posed with the question, casually confirms what Pepper had told me.
“No….you caaaaaaan’t!!!” I spewed.
“Why not?” the child even DARED to ask me.
“How do you think I can go and leave you here on your own? Not even an option” I demanded.
“But why not?’ he repeated.
“Because we are a family, and it just wouldn’t seem right” I explained.
“But why not?” he *&^%$ asked AGAIN.
Pepper then pipes up, and says “maybe he just wants to stay home and chill mom?”
“Why would he POSSIBLY rather do that??” I grumbled. ”I am sure he also wants to go away?”
That is when Salt, irritated by the fact that he was being discussed as if he wasn’t even in the room, took the matter in hand.
“Mom….do you understand that I have spent EVERY DAY for the last ten months with you guys??” he said, assuming he made his point.
“What’s your point?” I asked.
“You two go…..PLEASE….” he begged. ”I would love to just have 2 days at home to myself…..in fact, don’t be surprised if you get a message that an anonymous donor paid for an extra night” the little bastard, swine imbecile said!!!
“He’s right mom” the other little swine says, “ I wouldn’t mind staying home alone if you guys decide to go somewhere without me someday.”
“Oh”, I meekly said……thinking about all those lost opportunities over the years where my children actually would have wanted me to go….and there I was, the Mother Teresa…suffering saint…martyr….paragon of virtue, assuming that me devoting my life to and sacrificing the world for them was actually what they would have wanted…..even expected from me. But here they were telling me, that in fact, THEY WOULD HAVE LOVED ME TO HAVE GONE ON A FEW VACATIONS ALONE….you know….a la ”Home Alone”?
So……. sneaking off to the bathroom to have ”a stern talk” to my husband…..check.
Finding myself a partner…..jury still out.
Booking a trip of a lifetime…..immediately as my bank balance allows.
Adios, adieu, sayonara, arrivederci, auf wiedersehen and bye-bye.