Month: October 2020

What a time for our planet!! What a rollercoaster of emotions we have all been through.

Everyone has had their own emotional experience, but for me personally, I can sum it up in a trilogy that I shall call  ‘’Three Shades of Corona” (Totally PG by the way.)

Part 1, titled “Surrealism’’ covers feelings of confusion, shock, panic and disbelief.

I vividly remember listening to the President’s first address regarding the lock down.  Once he was done, my sons and I looked at each other, and my 23 year old said the most profound words of all time..….”that’ s deep” . Well maybe not profound, but certainly summed it up!

As small business owners, as well as Employees (of which I am both), the processing of shut down, losing income, and in the most drastic cases, losing jobs and businesses, was a very scary time. This taught us that nothing is ever guaranteed. This taught us to take nothing for granted. This taught us….actually, in retrospect this taught us nothing. But at the time, we reasoned that it did!

That, dear people, is what made up Part 1…..confusion, shock, panic, disbelief……..and DEEP!!

These emotions are not revisited once we begin “Part 2, titled “The Honeymoon Period “.  It was a toss up between that title, and the strong contender, ‘’Kumbaya’’. In fact ‘’Namaste’’ could also have been considered. But you see where I am going here?

This is where we all had 3 weeks of no control. We had to stay indoors, stay safe and appreciate the fact that many of us, like myself, were forced to breathe for the first time in 15 years.

The Earth could breathe too. We saw unbelievably heartwarming videos on social media of how our planet would look if the destructive human race was not there to destroy it. The planet was starting to heal. In an ironic way, we were also beginning to heal.

Broken relationships aside, we bonded, we cooked, we loved, we laughed and we suddenly realized why this had happened. It was a lesson. Yes, that was it. It all made sense!

Sure, the first trip to the shops literally felt like I was Darryl in an episode of “The Walking Dead”,  going for a “run.” (A Netflix Series I chose to binge on during lock down….go figure!)

However I did the totally responsible thing, went off all social media, shut myself off from any chance of hearing statistics, or that dreaded propaganda that can drive people to hell and back, and just took each day as it came. Never really done that before, but never really been forced to do that before!

I slept the best I have in 23 years. Both boys at home, safe and sound! Legally enforced to stay home! The lock down had achieved what no self respecting mother of young adult sons could ever have achieved!!

I realized that this is the state of calm that some people live everyday….who knew?? I also realized that if that is how I have not lived for so many years, my slightly cranky, ever so tiny grumpy and anxiety ridden personality all started making sense! Wow! My son was right……”deep’’ indeed!!

Finally, the still untitled third part of the trilogy. This is where many of us currently find ourselves- acceptance, depression and anxiety.  

Acceptance has set in. Life is supposed to “carry on” but financially, that’s not possible.  My kids are now totally over me using the excuse of lock down to keep them safe at home! In fact that “deep“ child said I am milking this lockdown thing to keep them at home. Hmmmm, probably….but who can blame me??  Anxiety, wow are you back? Damn, thought I had got rid of you. You are a persistent little swine aren’t you?? Then there is the depression, always a little by product of that cursed anxiety. Rat race, here we go. Stress, can’t say I missed you, but hello again.

I consider myself so fortunate. My family and friends are healthy. I still have employment. I still have my business. Yes, it is a Function Venue Hire. Yes, the hospitality industry will take one of the longest to recover. But the  parties we have hosted post COVID have been amazing.  Somehow, more special than usual.  People all have a different sense of appreciation for what was so “normal“.

In all these years, my Venue has  never gone longer than 3 weeks without being filled with childrens’ laughter, love and life. The fact that the bookings are only trickling in this season, is so foreign to my business.  

However, on entering the Venue for the first time after 6 months, I looked round, and realized….JEEKS too shall live again!!

DEEP INDEED!!

Continue reading “THE TRILOGY OF COVID” →

So, people are now totally over the dreaded masks. The topic of every conversation is…. “they do help’’….’’they don’t help ‘’…..”these are useless ‘’….. ‘’those  are uncomfortable ‘’, etc, etc, etc.

There are memes, there are posts…… quite frankly, masks are probably the most discussed and trending topic right now.

We no longer say, “love your shirt, where did you get it?” Nope, now we say, “love your mask, where did you get it?”. We also buy masks to match our outfits, novelty masks, quirky masks and I have no doubt that ideas will keep flowing. I mean, who are we not to exploit any and every opportunity put before us?

I was born with a resting (we’ll call it) grumpy face. My friends have forgotten my birth name, as they have been addressing me as “grumpy’’ for the last 15 years. Most people that know me, have to explain to “newcomers ‘’, that I am really nicer than I look. Of course there are those who know me, that feel the need to explain to people that I am not nicer than I look. For the purposes of this discussion, I shall refer to them as “people who do not understand me “ –  aka some of my friends.

Yes, I am sarcastic, yes I am snarky, yes I am intolerant, impatient (gasping for air), speak my mind, moody, OCD, ADD etc. BUT, I am also so much nicer than I look!!

One of my greatest qualities, is that I am totally aware of all my negative traits. “Why” you might ask, “don’t you do something about them?’’ Well, I have had (brief) moments where I have really tried. I once did fairly well! I even started liking myself!! But then one friend….. it only took one…. told me she found me so much less fun with my new improved personality! Well then…..who was I to deprive her of the old me. So….back to my ways I went.

Mind you, I totally know that there are friends of mine that use the daylight out of me to speak THEIR minds. Again….who am I to argue? My very close friends know EXACTLY how to trigger my “speak my mind ‘’ button!  Well, to be fair, it doesn’t  take a rocket scientist to figure that out!

One such friend and I were chatting one day, and we were trying to explain to her husband, et al, that I am ‘’INTOLERANT ‘’. Pretty much my claim to fame.  For the life of me, I could not think of the word. Next thing I knew, she blurted out ‘’INTOLERABLE “. Still never figured out whether that was a Freudian Slip!!

Anyhoooo, I digress. Me, I like the masks!! I am thousands of years old and was born with a resting grumpy face. Now with my mask, I look like a Vogue model, and like a true example of rainbows and sparkles.

Furthermore, when else would one be able to pretend they don’t  recognize someone they know  standing right behind them in the supermarket queue?   What a BRILLIANT excuse when we have those anti social days? Oh come on….we all have them?……..somebody???……anybody???   Dammit!! Hand me my mask!!

Like you, I too thought I knew everything there was to know about parenting. Naturally that was before I actually became a parent!

I was also NEVER going to let my kids do this or do that. I too was going to raise the perfect specimens. I had also never read the book ”What To Expect 16 Years After Expecting”.

Being so totally OCD, and hence such a control freak (the worst candidate for a parent by the way), I was so sure my methodical and routine lifestyle was going to hold me in good stead. I had a plan! Boy how naive was I?? There were three unexpected moments that emerged in my “perfect” child rearing plan.

Now for those of you who, like me, make plans for my plans, you will know that when something does not go according to your plan, or your plan of your plan, life becomes very scary.  

Over the years, we see character and personality traits (and flaws) in our children that we identify as either ours, or our spouses. “He got that from me”, “he got that from you”, and even “he got that from my side of the family”. In fact, we learn a lot about ourselves by observing our childrens’ traits. Sometimes that lesson is a bit of a shocker! Of course, we try and nip those nasty little buggers in the bud. Try save our little drops of mercury from the same fate that we endured learning all those little life lessons!! Just a heads up..…..not possible!

But it’s that moment (moment number one), where we realise that our little drops of mercury actually have their OWN traits. Horrors of horrors, how dare they?? How is that even possible? We made them! Surely to goodness they can ONLY have what we passed down to them? Nope! The little nutters have their very own traits. This then becomes a huge concern, as the parent who was going to ensure all the negative traits were going to be eradicated before any damage could be done….. what now? How am I supposed to know how in the crazy, cross eyed world, am I supposed to eradicate that of which I have not experienced first hand??

Not sure if you, like me, have anxiety attacks when you have to hand over your control…..to an underage, blank slate, that you were supposed to be designing, no less!!  

There it is…the second moment, where you realise that your offspring has actually managed to navigate this trait all by himself. No help required from you! What is your purpose then? How were my knowledge and skill not required in this situation?? This is unacceptable! I am redundant! What now?? Well, once you have realised that your services are no longer required….you can only sit back, and observe the process. It doesn’t always go as smoothly as you wish for your kids. But navigate they do!

Moment number three, is when you realise that, actually, you don’t play as big a role moulding these little people as you would like to think. In fact when they really watch and learn from your behaviour, is when you least want them to! But your job is actually to give them as much love, understanding and guidance as you can, while they discover their strengths and weaknesses all on their own. Oh…..food and shelter….yes you also need to give them food and shelter!